Here’s a quick illustrated guide for new readers on the teachings of Clive, as practiced by many of the people in Unicornalia.
Unicorns created the world…
And live up above us in the Rainbow City.
People who are good and righteous according to the teachings of the holy book, the Lexicornus, go to the Rainbow City after they die.
Those who are not, are doomed to an eternity in the Frozen Forest, home of the Werewolves.
To save everyone from the terrors of the Frozen Forest, a single Unicorn was born here on Earth, many years ago, of a mortal filly that had never been with a stallion. The Unicorn’s name was Clive, and his birth is celebrated every winter as the holiday of Unicornalia.
Clive is often refered to as The Sire.
Clive sacrificed his horn, and therefore his life, in order to protect humans from going to the Frozen Forest when they die.
It is for this reason that many worshippers of Clive wear pendants of axes around their necks. Clivean churches will often display axes at the top of their steeples.
The Werewolves have a prince, one Blackfang the Bigbad (sometimes just called Bigbad), who is said to tempt humans into wicked ways and lead them astray from Clive.
Cliveans pray by putting an extended thumb and forefinger to their foreheads, in mimicry of a Unicorn’s horn. They end their prayers by saying “So There.”
The earliest books of the Lexicornus tell of the creation of the world, and in particular mention that on Tuesday the Unicorns had a bit of a rest and some tea. For this reason, Tuesday is considered the Unicorns’ day.
Many Cliveans interpret the Lexicornus to suggest that because the Unicorns buttered their bread on one side when they took their tea,
that there is therefore a right side and a wrong side on which to butter one’s bread.
Not everyone who believes in Unicorns follows Clive specifically; but those who don’t will be discussed on a different page anyway.
Within the Clivean religion there are numerous sub-groups.
Alatheians belong to a church founded by the Apostle Norman, and was organized a few hundred years after Clive’s reported death. It has saints, and particularly reveres Clive’s filly mother, Snowfeather. Alatheians go to worship every Tuesday and take communion.
Immersivists (named after Frank the Immersed, one of Clive’s early disciples) tend to take the Lexicornus more literally than many others. They don’t believe in drinking or dancing.
(more to come soon.)
